


In Silence

by Rakath



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, POV First Person, Silent Protagonist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 02:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakath/pseuds/Rakath
Summary: This is the story of a girl, and her friends. It's pretty run of the mill, really, in every way. But one.





	

I was riding the subway, at the worst time of day, last of the trains of the evening. The people were either heading home from work, or home from the bars. The latter was the bigger concern. They were inebriated and, worse, friendly. I had no interest being out this late, but it couldn't be helped. Two editors called in sick, and we were on a deadline.

“Hey baby, never see you on a ride this late. And I'm always out this late.”

_ Great. _ He was a few years older than me, I hoped. He looked good for a drunk frat boy in a suit. I pulled my arms over my chest, I hoped that made it clear I wanted to be left alone. I wish I had my headphones. I don't listen to them, not out in the world, but they made a fantastic prop. They said to leave me be, I do not want Green Eggs and Ham.

“What's the matter babe, shy? You're way too pretty to be this quiet. I bet I could get you to make all sorts of noise.”

No such luck. I knew that looking away wouldn't help, he would just double down on attacking. I tried giving him a cold, dead glare. But he just leaned in closer. Oh god, he was trying to win me over with a look. Nobody knows more about nuanced facial expressions than I do.

Thankfully my phone chirped out three quick notes, I slipped my fingers into my pocket for it and examined the message. Quickly tapping in a three letter reply.

S.O.S.

The phone rang, I quickly put it to my ear. Thankful for the calming presence of a friendly voice, “Put me on speaker.”

Of course, the voice was friendly and calming to me. I had doubts anyone on this train would be calm in a few moments. I held the phone flat and with the speaker pointed toward the guy on the train.

“Listen, whoever you are, I’m waiting for my friend at the next station. My hope is that when I get on the train NOBODY will be anywhere near her. And if anyone tries to chat me up I’ll break their nose. I’m happily single. Stare at my friend in utter confusion if you get it.”

He was staring with complete confusion after all was said and done. But then again that was usually the response when a faceless voice on a phone starts yelling at you. When the train slowed as it reached the station a young woman stepped onto the train, looking ready to break some kneecaps.

The young man moved from the seat he was into the far side of the train with remarkable speed. She sat next to me with a smile, “Hey stranger.”

I took her hand in mind, I don’t know what I did to deserve such a good friend. She made a little small talk, nothing important, asking me about my day and telling me about her own. I answered as best I could, drawing simple shapes and short hand on my phone. It wasn’t really until we reached her stop that things are worth bringing up.

“If you’re running that late please call me sooner and I’ll get a train out to you.”

I looked my friend over. Al (short for Alexandra) was old enough to make men question if she was old enough. She would be there in about four months, at the older edge of seventeen and all. She was an inch or so over five and a half feet tall. But that hardly mattered when it came to how tall she felt. She was a tomboy with more brothers than dresses, who grew into an athlete that was intimidating before she decided the gym was the best place to meet women. Her skinny jeans and button up blouse did very little to cover up her muscles.

The only thing that really made her clearly female was a little bit of chest, and her long dark hair down to the small of her back. I never quite understood why my best friend kept her hair long, she got the occasional trim but never more than an inch or so to treat it.

She read my face as defiant, which was probably because I didn’t like the idea of her coming out to meet me more than she already did. “Don’t give me that look, going home from work is one thing. Going home from work during ‘post drink douchebag o'clock’ is another.”

She had a point, my usual train is hours earlier, but tonight they had me doing inventory and closing up. I couldn’t really argue with them on this because two people called in sick. I sighed, or mimed a sigh anyway.

“Look, it’s fine, I can make the extra trip. We can hold hands and pretend we’re a cute couple and rub all the suit and tie crowd the wrong way.”

That got a smile out of me. It was a lie, not the cute part. We couldn’t be a couple because Al wasn’t my type. The cute part we had down when we wanted to be. It would be less nerve wracking to travel with a friendly face at my side. Especially when the trains are so empty people feel like being social.

We made it to the treehouse, don’t let the name mislead you, it’s a defunct clothing boutique Al’s dad owns that had a store room and back office. We’ve turned it into a private hangout for us and our friends. As I stepped in I took a look at myself in one of the mirrors.

My height felt weird, at an inch or two under six feet. I tried to look nice, especially days I worked. The sweater and the pleated skirt was a bit more librarian than I really wanted. My hair and eyes the dull nondescript brown that is never given any thought. I did have the overall figure of a model, thin and wispy in ways that always brought me trouble. But it also gave me the occasional good time.

And usually that good time was trouble, but that is neither here nor there. My mind moved on to if I should give myself a scar or two. Nothing world ending, just to make people think I was a Bond Villain or a victim of some tragic backstory on a crime drama. The thought process faded out as Al caught my attention again with a question.

“Maybe they can make some sorta cyborg collar for you?”

My forehead creased as I tilted my head to one side. My daydreams of scars either really distracted me or Al had skipped a few stations on her train of thought.

“Something that reads your mind and gives you a cool autotuned synth voice.”

I made a face, tongue out eyes shut as I waved my left hand over my right arm in a simple back and forth gesture, before a big thumbs down.

“Okay, my taste in music is crap, but really think about it. A machine voice Serena. Wouldn’t that be nice? Telling creeps off on the bus yourself? Sounding like Darth Vader!?”

I doubled over laughing with that last thought. It pulled the wind out of the rest of her idea for the moment. Of course halfway through my gigglefit I was reminded. As the sound of my breath and my wheezing was there, but the laughter itself was soundless. Empty.

That brought me back to her idea. Having a voice. A real working voice. Wouldn’t that be something. Okay after a few moments thought all I got is ‘it’d be weird, would I even like talking?’ I held my hand palm down, pitching and rolling my hand in an ‘maybe’ gesture.

“Suit yourself, but imagine a guy hitting on you and you pull out Vader on them. We staying here tonight or going to your place?”

The idea was tempting, and it got another smile on my silent lips. As to the question I pointed a single index finger down. 

When we got the Treehouse we ditched a bunch of the stuff in it. The store room we turned into a lounge, and the back office had two cots and some storage space. We couldn’t shower, but we could freshen up in the employee bathroom and both kept some spare clothes here.

“Cool, you wanna snuggle that’s why?” Al asked, elbowing me in the side as she did.

I rolled my eyes and flipped her the bird… before squeezing her hand because I totally needed a snuggle after that jerk hit on me. I hated how Al had to save me, but she was right. So long as I don’t have a voice, it is better if I have someone. Plus this place didn’t have the best heating and we’d freeze without each other.

“Percival and Milly will be in tomorrow. I think they have a friend they are bringing along, or something. Perc’s message was low on details.”

I shot Al a sidelong look as we headed to the office.

“Okay, I got his text while I had a cute little cheerleader pinned up against some lockers moaning my name. Sue me. We’ll find out tomorrow, I guess.”

I grabbed a long shirt to sleep in and stripped down to just my panties. Tossed Al a pair of men’s boxers she liked to sleep in and she pulled the padding and blankets out. We stripped wordlessly and climbed in together. I felt special, Al got in bed with more than her fair share of girls (according to her anyway) but she promises I’m the only one she cuddles or stays the night for.

“You sure you’re okay? That tool on the train was glaring daggers when I showed up. I got a good look at him I can pound him some if you want.”

He wasn’t any worse, he didn’t get handsy or anything, I mulled it over, turned around, and kissed my friend on the nose. A little trilling hum out of my throat, barely audible.

“I love you too C.”

***

I got up first, to the surprise of nobody. I grabbed some clothes, something ankle length and a v-neck. If there was going to be a newcomer I wanted to show off a little. Cleaned myself up in the bathroom and got myself dressed. Then went to work on one of the few relics of the Treehouse’s past life as a business.

The coffee maker.

Al shambled awake to the smell of cheap coffee burning. Look, it was a treasured relic but there was a reason the previous renters didn’t keep the coffee machine. It was a pile of junk. I handed my friend her first cup of coffee for the day and took her face in my hand. Smiled. And poked her in the tit.

“Right. Shirt. People.” Al mumbled as she shambled back to our lair. “Coffee first.”

Al wasn’t exactly an exhibitionist, but a lack of clothes never trumped coffee in the morning. Hopefully she’d be dressed whenever company arrived. Not that Percival and Milly had never seen Al’s tits, just neither was her regular choice.

My phone chirped and I glanced at it.  She awake?

I studied the message and typed a reply.  Mosty

My phone chirped again.  Dressed?

I smiled to myself.  Life is exciting

Another chirp.  Well, she was always going to make an impression.

I milled around the little kitchen-esque area. This was the break area when this was a store, but it consisted of a mini-fridge, sink, coffee maker, and microwave. I ran over and poked at my phone again.  Bring food.

In reply I got a photo of two doughnuts short of a dozen doughnuts.

Eat the kustard filled one and I will kill you. Like a ninja

Chirp.  Understood.

I fiddled with my phone checking my news feeds, schedules, messages from mom. Sitting in window waiting to see the boys. Eventually a trio of young men, all contemporaries of myself, arrived at the door. I let them in, giving the two I knew hugs as they ushered their friend in with them.

Milly, which was an endearing version of Milton, stood at nearly six six. He was a football player, so under his natural layer of padding he had all the muscles needed to win a fight with lesser men. Not that anyone ever picked a fight with him. He had a oafish charm to him, not handsome but quite likable. He was dressed in his usual lumberjack style. Big and Tall shopped jeans and a flannel shirt.

Percival was dressed in his usual ruddy jeans and shirt that used to be white. It was clean, but never washed with bleach so it had that dirt tinge to it that never went away. He was an inch shorter than me, lean and athletic in all the conventional ways. Although his best feature was the box of donuts, which I opened and grabbed my pick from as he came in.

The third young man was unknown to me, his hairstyle was prep and his attire well maintained, the cut of his hoodie showed it was fitted for his shoulders exactly. He stood a hair taller than me, and he was gorgeous in that old school way. If he were in Hollywood in the 1980’s he would never lack for work. Today he’s a bit too clean cut.

I put the doughnut in my mouth and held it with my teeth, putting my hand up to my chin and wiggling my index finger.

“I thought we told you not to talk with your mouth full?” Percival chided, smiling obnoxiously.

I responded in kind by flipping him the bird, then repeating my initial gesture.

“This is Rick, he’s my mom’s best friend’s kid.” Percival offered as he headed to the back. “Rick, that’s Serena, Al is in the back. Hopefully dressed.”

“Bite me!” Al called from the back.

“Good morning, Al.” Milly offered as he headed into the back.

We’d moved a couple of curb cycled couches to make the place feel more at home. Then we spent time steam cleaning them to be sure whatever form of herpes might have lived there before was dead. As well as a small card table to put things on.

Naturally the box of doughnuts was on one sofa, between Al and Milly. Rick and Percival took the other couch, I sat in the corner with a novel I was reading. Too many people for me to really interject without a lot more work than I wanted this morning. The four of them did the pleasantries of introductions, getting to know each other, figuring out what the pecking order was.

Rick was a year older than us, his mother moved him into town a few weeks ago, and seemed to insist he try to worm his way into Percival’s circles. A job at the bike shop, all that. He lived out West before, being here was a step down for him. He was an all in city boy and this town was a suburb. His move ended things with his girlfriend, which I paid attention to for some reason.

“So… does your friend just not like me?” He asked.

“She doesn’t like slowing down group conversations.” Milly answered, undaunted or bothered by Rick’s lack of tact.

“Why would she slow it down?”

“Maybe you should ask her,” Al said, tone clipped, “instead of forgetting she’s right over there.”

I got up and tapped away at my phone. Holding it up to him after I was finished.  The order of monks I joined all take a vow of silence.

Maybe it isn’t fair I’m really fucking done with this conversation. But he dragged me in when they were having such a good time. Of course my message confused him, I was lying through my screen to screw with him.

Thankfully Milly and Al read over his shoulder, and the two started cracking up before he said anything else he’d regret. Percival took pity on him, “Serena doesn’t talk. Ever. Just talk to her and she’ll either speak her broken ass ASL which we understand, or she’ll type you a response.”

“She doesn’t? Is it a medical thing?” Rick asked Percival.

I narrowed my eyes, tapped him on the shoulder, squared up with him when he faced me. And kicked the fucker in the shin.

“Ow what the hell?”

“Oh look, he’s figured out he can talk to you.” Milly offered dryly.

Realization dawned on him, and his posture broke under the weight of his realized stupidity, “Sorry. So is it medical? Or psychological?”

I shrugged, if I knew exactly why I was silent I wouldn’t be. Maybe. I gestured scribbling out a signature on something, then toward my legs. Percival ‘translated’ and corrected, “She’s trying to make you believe she traded her voice for human legs with a sea witch. Although Ariel is her favorite Halloween costume because people assume she’s really getting into character.”

Praise be, Percival talking didn’t make Rick turned to face him, he watched me. “How do you get through school? Or go on dates? Do normal stuff?”

I flourished a hand toward Al, letting her take this as I smiled. “She got her GED, she works while she figures out how to handle college. And she does plenty of normal stuff, her safe word is tapping like she’s in a submission hold.”

I flipped Al off, not that she’s wrong just that this was a little over the line.

“So, you have sex? But how do you tell a guy if you want anything.” 

I shot Percival a glance.

“Dude, you just asked a girl you barely know about her sex life.”

“Right, right, sorry… but. Sorry, this is really weird.” At least this tool looked like he realized he’s done nothing but step in it. Admittedly this is the first new person to the treehouse in over a year. Last time was when Percival had a girlfriend. She asked a lot of the same questions. But it took Al punching her to stop talking around me.

“If you’re ever here with less of us you can find out about how she talks one on one,” Milly offered. “And if you can’t decide on a netflix thing to watch you can find out what it looks like when a screamer makes no noise.”

I flipped Milly off. 

Al had other questions, “Wait, you hooked up with Milly? When?”

I held up three fingers and moved them behind my other hand.

“Three weeks ago, and you didn’t tell me? Is he any good?”

I touched a finger to my tongue and then gave two thumbs up.

“You’re too kind. Really,” Milly offered in his perpetual deadpan.

Al smirked moving in, putting the box of doughnuts behind her as she scooted into Milly’s lap, “And was our girl any good? I never really get to ask anyone she’s with.”

Milly shot me a sidelong look, the same tired expression whenever it came to talking about others. Milly was a bankvault of secrets in his own way, “A gentleman never kisses and tells.”

I pointed at him, ran a soft finger over my arm with a questioning glance. Then barked out a silent laugh.

“I suppose gentle is overstating it, well, if you insist…” Milly started.

I quickly stamped a foot and waved Milly off. As much as I didn’t mind sharing with Al, we still had another face in the room and I jerked my head over toward him.

“You know, it’s rude to talk around me.” Rick offered. Acting like he was so clever with that. “Would you be offended if I asked exactly what everyone’s relationship was to everyone else?”

I grinned, pointed a finger gun at Al, put the hand up to my chin and stuck my tongue out provocatively in the space between my outstretched thumb and index finger. I moved on to pointing at Milly, repeated the provocative tongue thing between my index and middle fingers. Then held my hand as if I had a cylinder in it, and pulled it toward my mouth, pressing my tongue into my cheek. Finally I pointed at Percival, with my middle finger. And with my free hand made a scissor motion and retracted my middle finger. Like I had cut something off.

Percival sighed, “Just because I’m actually waiting doesn’t mean I don’t have one.”

Al was laughing.

Milly glanced at me, “Charming, Serena.”

Rick seemed to get the gist of what I meant, “Not exactly what I wanted to know.”

Percival took this, probably to prevent me from explaining. Which would have been fun, Rick wouldn’t get a single bit of it, but it’d be fun to watch him squirm uncomfortably. “Before Serena dropped out of school we were on the ‘must watch’ list, me for my family her for… the obvious. I met Al through her, they’ve been friends since forever. Milly was tutoring me in math, and his sister happened to be Al’s girlfriend at the time.”

“Where’s your sister?” Rick asked as he looked over at Milly.

“Boarding school, our parents…” His monotonous drawl wavered, a hint of regret in his voice. Fortunately Al took over.

“His parents are a bunch of homophobic jerks, and they didn’t appreciate their honor roll student being led astray by a slutty dyke cheerleader.” Al offered, “They sent her to boarding school after a rather uncomfortable discovery in their home.”

Rick glanced over to Percival, looking for a sign as to if he should ask.

I had already typed out a message on my phone.  They walked in on Al wearing her cheer uniform and a really big strap-on. Tilly was NOT modestly dressed.

“That’s… certainly something.”

I can see you trying to picture it, please stop.

“Oh! Um, sorry. Just… not quite sure why you included the detail about the size of the strap-on.”

Al was laughing, “She just wanted you to know mine is probably bigger than yours.”

Something clicked in Rick’s head, and he turned his attention to Milly, “Wait, if your parents reacted like that. Didn’t Serena say you’re…”

“Into dudes? Yeah, my parents don’t know. Fortunately I have better luck with girls than my sister did with boys.” Milly glanced at me, not quite a glare. Guess I kinda overshared. For the record, Milly doesn’t really like any labels. He feels bisexual is too much, but pansexual makes people think of pizza choices. His sister labeled herself as bi since she heard of the word. “I’d like to keep it that way, so please do not make me hurt you. I’ll feel bad and you won’t feel anything. For a week.”

Milly hadn’t moved as he leveled his threat, he didn’t sit up more, or adjust his posture. He still had Al basically in his lap. Honestly I felt that made the threat even more credible and intimidating, if I didn’t know him that’d freak me the hell out. Rick certainly seemed properly freaked, poor guy didn’t know what sort of freakshow Percival had as friends. So freaked when his phone chirped he nearly jumped out of his shoes.

“That our cue?” Percival asked.

“Yes,” Rick added after checking the message, “Moms are done with their girl time and want us to come meet up with them. It has been a pleasure, and educational.” He gave a shallow bow to the sofa with Milly and Al on it, then turned to me. Stepping in close, “I’d kinda like to get to know you. Maybe we can talk sometime, less people around to make it easier.”

I was trying to figure out if this was sincere, a play to get me out of my panties, or just some sort of high society niceties. I glanced at the others to see their reactions. Milly… gave nothing away, utterly useless. Al was smirking and blew me a kiss, she was for it. Percival nodded, ever so slightly. I studied my shoes for a moment, leaned in close, as if there would be a kiss on the cheek at any moment.

Then slapped him on the back, hard, and gave him a big thumbs up. With that I returned to my book. He waved awkwardly to me, lost at my mixed signals (good!) and left with Percival. Once I was sure they were gone I walked over and curled up with Milly and Al on the sofa. One of Al’s big football catchin’ hands found its way to my shoulder, he probably meant it as a gentle squeeze but it was kinda rough. I liked it.

“Man, didn’t know Val's friend would be so thick. Glad I wore clothes.” Al muttered. She held my hand, the pair of them knew it was a lot. Not just being social, but being that with a new face. I just wanted to sleep and it was barely noon. Al glanced at me, then at Milly, “Want me to get lost for an hour so you two can have a round?”

You might think that’s a strange suggestion, Al having just found out about Milly and I having a thing. But Al knew me well enough to know what I liked in this world. It wasn’t the sex. Okay, it was, but it wasn’t only the sex. Nobody expects you to talk about your feelings during sex, pour your heart out in poetic verse. You let your feelings be known screaming them with every inch of skin, all at once, without words.

Which for me was very comforting. Maybe I wouldn’t need a nap if I did that. Plus Milly was kind of very good at this. I put my hands together in a silent plea for Al to go. I glanced up at Milly, his face was giving nothing away, but his hand on me told me all I needed, thumb brushing a quiet circle on my shoulder blade. Al put a kiss on each of us, right on the cheek, then grabbed her bag. “Take an hour to have some fun you two.”

Then Al left. Three beats of Milly’s loud athletic heart thrummed under my palm. Then my shirt had been pulled off and we were starting. Milly didn’t exactly do a lot of kissing, that wasn’t him, my lips were on his neck. He let me have that, at least. “Any specifics?”

That was the extent of what was ever asked, we hadn’t been at this long, but a pattern had already formed. One of us asked that question, and the other answered. And then that was what happened. It was my turn. I got up, walked backwards, eyes locked on his as I moved. Watching him break eye contact to see my hip sway, my teeth work on my lip. My feet slip out of my shoe as finally bumped into a wall.

And smirked.

He knew what I wanted now, I had told him. He was up and with me in a moment. And it was… what I needed, not sure if it was what I wanted anymore. I dunno, we weren’t exactly a couple. We just did this. For each other. We’d need to have a talk later, but for now.

Now talking was not what I wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is not one of my two book ideas I keep poking at, this is a story I just... wanted to write, for me. Voiceless characters are just a thing with me. There is no explanation coming for why she's mute, she just is. It is a convention of the story to accept. I hope I hit all the markers on this and made it work. Playing in snarky first person is my favorite thing and all.


End file.
